I Love my Husband! xoxo

Last night me and my DH were driving home and he looked at me and called me his hero. I never expected that and it caught me off guard but I thought that it was so sweet! It was so random.. He said it because of all the things that I have been through so for but I keep on pushing on... '' keeeeep on pressing my way... keeeeeep on pressing my way.. though the storms may come, in my life, may make me shed, a tear or two.. Iiiiii Feeeeel Like pressing.... MY WAY!" - just a song that was in my spirit... :0)

I just couldn't wait to share this with all my blogger friends today. Little things like that make me stronger and makes me feel better about the current situation. I can do all things, through Christ, which Strengtheneth Me!

I got this email to day and I wanted to share it because it was so relevant talking about God in this world.. Here goes...

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and
suffering that I have heard...
A man went to a barbershop to have
his hair cut and his beard trimmed.

As the barber began to work, they began to have a good
conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber
said:

"I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have
to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist.

Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?
Would there be abandoned children?
If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain.

I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these
things."

The customer thought for a moment,
but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street

with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard.
He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and
entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:

"You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here,
and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if
they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and
untrimmed beards, like that man outside."


"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do

not come to me."

"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too,
DOES exist!
That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look
to Him for help.
That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

BE BLESSED & BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS !!!!!

A lot of changes

Today I started to experiment with different blogs.. so If you start to see different colors all over the place no need to be alarmed.. no one has phished into my account.. i may change up depending on my mood.. today I'm feeling a little green.. so I chose this one.. I am still trying to get the gist of everything and set up my page and find different ideas on other bloggers pages to see what else I can do.. Its very cool what you can do its my own little space on the web! tee hee hee!!!! ;)

As far as today I'm feeling just fine.. better than okay! lol! A little stomach upsetness but nothing major.. just 3 more days of taking my Provera and waiting for my AF .. wouldn't think that I would be so excited to see THAT! but I need it to move on to my next phase in life! haha!

At work on my lunch break right now.. maybe ill pick up on something later.. I'm going to eat some Chinese today.. been wanting it for some time now!! so I'm happy.. Also trying to jot down everything i eat for the next 2 days so that I can start this Health First program that my RE referred me to b.c of my weight and insulin levels.. So I am happy about that too.. seems like ever since they forgot about me that have def. been on top of things.. Lol!!! oh well.. guess that's just the way it goes! ;)

today is okay~

Its been a little crazy.. Started taking metformin and unfort. I got the side effects. I was home w/ the stomach virus symtoms on thurs and friday.. now when I take the med it doesnt effect me as bad.. Guess I am getting used to it. Thank God!! b/c I didnt know how i was going to function with taking this everyday.. its good b/c its helping my insulin stay down and I am HAPPY!! truly I am b/c it is helping me get closer to my goal and I can finally have some type of answers to my health issues and dealing w/ PCOS.. Not too much to say today.. but that im back at work and praying for God to give me the strength to make it through to my next vacation day. haha!!

Heeeelllo All! :D

Yes I AM quite chipper today... even though I have returned from work from my fabulous getaway vacation I am in good spirits. Well the trip was wonderful, it was very spiritual and uplifting and RELAXING!!! I didn't get my AF the whole time I was there but it didn't stress me out. I just enjoyed the time I had and went swimming and chilled out.
So let me get right to it.. I called my RE and told them that I haven't gotten my AF as yet and its been well over a month.. They rushed me in this morning to see me and got blood work done also and ultrasound and finally had a semi consult with my DR. Turns out I am not ovulating at all (which I already figured out) and have officially been diagnosed with PCOS. SoooOOooo the magical words of medication came across and guess what!!! I will be starting Clomid soon!!!! WOOHOO!!!! RING THE ALARMS!!! this is def. an exciting moment for me b/c I have been talking about this drug for about a year now! haha!!! My RE is going to start me on Provera to get my AF started and also I'm going to start with Metformin then on like the 3rd day of my AF I will be starting on clomid!! YAY MEEEE!!! I'm getting closer and closer to my blessing!!!!!!!

Side bar... while we were away on vaca we stopped @ a mall I LOVE going into motherhood... looked at a couple clothes and I was going to buy a dress there.. but didn't.. I like it b/c it gives me some hope of what is to come.. but I am loving the fact that I had some good news at my appointment today. I truly thank God about this appointment, and knowing that He can fix any situation makes me have some type of sanity! I am SOOOO excited yall!!! :D

I may be posting pics of baby stuff that I would want... just for the fun of it... I love looking at babies r us!! (snicker)

Happy Happy Monday!!!

Today is Monday and it is rainy and gloomy outside.. I LOVE IT!! I love the rain and even more thunderstorms!!! Makes you want to curl up in bed all day get comfortable near my hubby and watch TV!! but of course in the real world, we have to WORK!! :)

Of course a little tired today b/c of the weather but even more because last week I didn't get proper sleep b/c we were out after work almost everyday weather on church engagements or going to family engagements. So I'm kind of pooped today.

You know sometimes you get that feeling that you don't want to be bothered anymore and have people keep asking you when you are going to have a baby. It can get frustrating but then on the other hand, people can't help it. So some things you have to accept and stay humble. The Lord has defiantly given me a new peace that I have a little more patience. I think its because our blessing will be happening soon I hope and pray.

DH and I had a convo in the car last night about what we think we would have first.. a boy or girl... but he never answered but he always speaks of the baby and says "he" or "his" while I always say "she" or "hers" lol! so I think that that answered that question. Then we thought about having twins and how that would be.. we both agreed if we had a boy and girl fraternal twins we would be done for a while at least.. that would be nice! lol! but even one baby would be awesome b/c we would be able to spend good quality time and it would allow us to grow as parents and not be rushed too much... but of course our God has all the say in this!! Which I am happy about because He will do us no harm!!

P.S. I get to go on my vacation starting on Wednesday .. going to North Carolina and Virginia.. cant wait!!! its well needed.. Just relaxing and getting away from EVERYTHING!!! and also I haven't gotten my AF yet!?!? hmmmmm.... now I would of thought i was preggers if I hadn't of just taken the blood test @ my RE's office last week.. now I don't know whats up. I really hope that my body is NOT going to start missing periods again! I really hope not b/c I don't want to go through that again... and I don't know why I am being teased up to the moment to where I'm almost done with my testing and then it doesn't want to come! UGH!!!!!

And today too will pass....

So today I went to my dr appt from being forgotten about.. and as I was sitting there I was just remembering the last times I was sitting in front of the flowery wall paper that's inside of the examination wall and thinking to myself.. "hmmm, how many more times am I going to see this wall and not be pregnant, just doing more and more tests and blood work" So I thought to make this blog titled ..."And today too will pass.." because I know that this visit will be merely a remembrance in my mind when I think back over this whole process..

Any who... So I went to my RE today and guess what.... seriously, guess!! Okay ready..........
THEY DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE WHY I WAS THERE!!!! LOL!!! I really don't feel like this is funny but I just have to laugh and thank God for the wisdom that he has given me b/c sometimes you have to question the people who you put ur lives at risk to... I mean I JUST spoke to one of the Nurses on the 8th about how they forgot about me and got me scheduled for an appointment 3 days later and you guys don't know anything?!?! So after probing me about the conversation that I had and getting notes from only He knows where they were able to put "something" together and helped me out today..

So they decided since my EC Biopsy and PCT were missed then they will still do the blood PG test and also get me in for my EC Biopsy. That was good to hear b/c at least Im knocking two birds with one stone by only paying my co-pay for one instead of two separate visits.. So they took my blood and unfortunately I got a BFN for the test but at least they could continue on with the EC Biopsy. So they did that.. Now mind you I was in the office from 7:40AM until 10:05AM. for this whole process.. Didn't expect that at all b/c I would have taken time off of work.. but oh well what is done is done..

Just and FYI, I am praying that I will NEVER have to do an EC Biopsy again!!!! My goodness that crap HURTS!! I feel that I am pretty good with paid but they were not lying about the cramping feeling.. I mean I know that they are literally tearing pieces of my from the inside but that was soooo painful!!!! Well labor is apparently worse than that so I guess this is what its leading up to!

So now they are telling me to call back when the first day of my AF comes.. which I haven't felt any symptoms from as of yet.. (thats why I had hope that I may be preggers). So I don't know whats going on.. I did workout a little but not that much to alter it.. But who knows how mother nature is .. who knows.. but ill KIT!!!

One of my fears has come true!!

OHHHH NoooOOOooo!!! I didn't want this to happen.. not with this doctor at least. But alas it has. I was FORGOTTEN!!! See this is my story.. I have always wanted a baby for as long as I could remember as a child and still do even more. So now that I am married and doing it the right way and nothing is happening that takes a toll on someone. Soooo you would think that the Dr.'s would care about how you feel and that this is just not working for you with the time but noooooo they don't.. They make me feel like they just don't care sometimes.. having to wait 6 months to find out that the whole time that my one of my tubes is blocked is totally unacceptable!!!! Its ridiculous! Thanks for hurting someone.. I hope u get paid a lot for destroying the hope that that 6 months had for a loving couple! It really does hurt.. :(

As I said before I can wait on Gods timing but it is not an easy thing to do. I know that all the set backs and everything else that comes in front of us is only God because only He can allow anything to happen. As a human it is hard and easily said than done.
Just to let you know what sparked this today I will talk about it now. Well I call my RE to get results from my glucose test and my DH's analysis. After playing phone tag they finally got a hold of me and told me that they don't go over any results with me and it will be given at my consultation with the RE when all the tests are complete. Okay that's cool I say but when do I meet with my RE.... hmmmmmmm.. well that will be after I do an edometrial biopsy and also a post-coital test WHICH WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN GIVEN TO ME ALREADY!!! BUT THEY FORGOT ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!! I am so pissed about that! I specifically asked for a followup appointment to be made when I was done my last appointment and they specifically told me that I would have to wait and someone would call me and contact me to tell me what to do next. I told the Nurse this and she said that I was supposed to follow the worksheet they gave me.. BUT I DID!~ I am the one who has to call after a week to find out what else I have to do because I have no idea on when I'm going to get a call or anything.. I'm floating in space waiting for a call to come back! this is just crazy!!

Now please don't get me wrong, I'm not a brat or one of those people who HAS to have it their way.. but after waiting so long for something that comes so naturally to some takes so long for me then on top of that have been lied to about results and not come up front with when questions are asked.. So I feel like I'm running out of time and its crucial to me. My wish and prayer is to be pregnant with our blessing by the end of this year and I really don't want to waste time. Everything works in Gods timing but this is sincerely my prayer to Him.

So anyway, I got an appointment for this Friday for a pregnancy test to make sure I am not pregnant before they start back up with the tests that they FORGOT TO SCHEDULE ME FOR! Oh how I pray that when I go on Friday that that pregnancy test says that I am pregnant.. Oh I would be elated!! I cant wait!!! but if not I wont be upset .. I will follow thru and I have definitely learned my lesson on waiting on people. I will bug the mess out of those people until they get me pregnant! LOL! if that is the way I have to be then I will do it! and I wont feel bad about it AT ALL!
I PRAY EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT!!

Exercising..... and other things on my mind...

Yes.. the dreaded "E" word! LOL!!!! Well just to get started it is. I try to walk every now and again @ work but its just not as consistant as I want it to be. So me and my buddy are going to go walking tomorrow and the day after at a local track.. Looking forward to it b/c I know that its a healthy thing to do for life and especially since I am trying to conceive. I have been meaning to buy a treadmill but I just can not afford one right now. The little extra money that we have has to go to something else. No biggie, I may be able to get one at the end of August. But I know that it will help me whip my behind in shape!
.. On other news.. my DH went to get his semen analysis done!!! yay!! I'm excited because its still one more step to our blessing! I just get butterflies whenever I think about it!!! ;D
So I'm just waiting to see when they will call me for my next appointment to followup or to see what the next step is. I am desperately wanting to go on Clomid because I heard that this really works.. but first things first.. mommy has to be okay first... so I am satisfied with everything the way it is now.. moving but not too fast. OH BTW, I got my results back from my glucose... just waiting on the doc. to say what the numbers mean... I don't know as yet but I will update as soon as he lets me know..