Uh oh! the AF twinge!

Dreaded AF!!! I just got a twinge just like a minute ago.. I had to hurry and sign in to write about it...

BTW!! ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! HAPPY BIRTH DAY TO ME!!!!

But back to the dreaded!! I am of course praying for my BFP this month.. but I felt it..

so im getting my emotions ready to handle the possible BFN now.. being that I wont be going back to the doc until im in a better position..

That way it wont be too mad.. but i have to admit every hang up is a big heart ache! unfortunately I still have to prepare myself so that I dont have a huge fall..

I ddint take on of my injections last night.. I was just tired of it! its annoying and I was tired..

if one day messed me up.. then its def. not meant to be..

ive been thinking a lot about adoption.. i know im still young but still its an option that i was thinking about just in case.. for sometime down the road.. (sigh)

Whew! its been a while

I havent been keeping up as much as I have wanted to. I have just been so busy with everything in my world.
I have since been instructed to take my progesterone shots every night up until 9/28 because on 9/29 I will be taking my pregnancy test.
I want to say that this is the month.. but it is all in Gods hands.. one can never know until it is so.
I have also missed my first progesterone appointment.. its just too much.. i have another one on thursday.. so hopefully i will be able to make it and my results will look good. I really dont have time to be dissappointed anymore. I want to move on from TTC.. I am so fed up and frustrated at the fact that its taking so long.
I will def. be taking time off and coming back to this later on if nothing happens.. doesnt make sense for me to continue spending money and nothing is happening..

today..

i feel like i have sooo much gas and pressure in my lower abs.. hoefully this is ovulation!!! :)
other than that i feel fine.. more bding this week and we should be good! Im praying soooo much for our BFP!!!!

hola!

Im in my Selena mood now! :)

I loved her!! Still love her music.. its like she is still here!

Im feeling 95% better today!! YAY!! Im so happy about that!!! I rested the whole weekend..

yesterday I gave myself my HCG shot! lol! i didnt think I could do it but I did.. it hurt a little but its done! :)

Next dr appt is on thurs. to check to see if ovulation occurred.. Im praying for my BFP this month!!! Lord please!

yeah... im still sick

this sucks!!! UGH! I hate being sick... no tastebuds.. all congested! and just annoyed.. at work today strugglng through.. yesterday was a half day b/c it was just too much.. if i had more sick time i would of stayed home today too! UGH! i feel horrid!!

im thinking that this is more of a sinus cold than a reg. cold.. my head is pounding and i have a lot of nasal drippage!! this SUCKS!!!!

its monday again!!! soooo mundane! UGH!

yeah.. so time must go on for things to happen... seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, months, years.. its all in this timely rehlm that we are in that defines our days and everything we do with our lives.. life goes on.. eh!

Last night was my last night of taking the clomid.. (double dosage) :)
I am a little happy .. not because i was taking them but b/c im finished them.. It made me sooo nauscious... yuk! i didnt even want to eat b/c the smells of different foods.. i never actually threw up but it felt like i was .. my head pounding and the HOT FLASHES!! My goodness!!! I adjusted my air in my home like every hour on the hour!!! GEEZ! one minute I was freezing then the next I was burning up! lol! it was crazy!!! my good ness... but i didnt get the other symptoms of sore boobies or anything.. ;) (which I am thankful for!!) I really pray that this works.. if not then im calling it quits for a while and just loosing weight and trying on our own.. im tired of spending all this money and not getting any results that i want..

i have started my attempts for working out now .. still working on the eating part.. trying to take out as much meat as I can.. too many horemones.. started to work out on the treadmill.. feel better already.. hopefully God will help me to see it through as ive done before!

oh yeah.. and the appt w/ kate was cancelled.. Actually the office called me for a later time which i couldnt do anyway.. so i told them i would just reschedule all together at a later date.. so it worked out for me to get it cancelled!! :)

T.G.I.F.

THANK GOODNESS ITS FRIDAY!!!!!! Please Lord let this day go by Fast!!!

Day 1 of ...CLOMID SIDE EFFECTS???

I AM FEELING WEIRD TODAY.... I took my first double dosage last night and felt fine.. but let me tell ya! WHEW! this morning was and is still going crazy into the late afternoon! I have had this terrible migrain which has inturn made me sick to my stomach where the smell of my BBQ left over lunch that I brought in is now making me want to HACK!
Then I have these crazy hot flashes! LOL! I kind of knew of this side effect but goodness!! I thought that I was going to faint.. I guess what is really getting to me is that the side effects didnt hit me until this morning! errrrrr!!! it just took so long for me to feel it! hmmm.. on top of the meds.. i took my morning metformin and then took 3 aleves and 2 tylonol sinus b/c this headache is one of the WORST I have ever had.. Im struggling to make it through the rest of my work day..

My voice is cracking still from the big recording the other night that our church had.. much fun!!! but strainng on my voice since I talk a lot on my job... but ill get over it i guess! lol!

I took a break... now im back

Was a little upset to find out I had a BFN took a little while to get over it.. esp when I thought that the cramping pain could have been implantation... oh the well!!
But it did take me a little longer to get back b/c I was just tired of this whole TTC thing for a while..It really takes a lot out of you! GEEZ! mentally, physically and emotinally.. Good thing that I did prepare myself for the BFN before I went in b/c I would of been a serious mess then!

So next things in effect.. met w/ my RE and he wants me to up my metformin to 2 500mg /day.. so basically 1000mg /day and also my clomid is not doubled dosages.. which is funny b/c I have not taken even the reg dosage as yet! .. Im not complaining though b/c at least ists a leap forward.. so im happy about that.. hopefully i'll have my twins! lol!!!! my boy and girl at the same time!!! YAY!! :P
But the Lord knows that I will be happy with just one too! I really hope that this is the cycle.. as I do with every other one that I have had.. but this one for sure.. b/c if not then ill be taking possibly a couple of months off due to the amount of money that is being eaten up by these $30 copays and medicine and shots that are out of pocket! Its VERY expensive and we havent even talked about an IUI or IVF!!! and my insurance doesnt cover this so thats going to be crazy if we have to go there.. but prayerfully we wont have to.

I have to meet w/ this weight management at my RE's thats recommended to all PCOS patients who are overweight.. but I am not trying to spend $50 to have someone tell me what to eat and to workout! lol! i know i have to work out.. im actually going to start working out on my mom's treadmill that she let me borrow last night.. and that another $50 that I do not have! LOL!
So ill be possibly cancelling that appt.. esp since I wont have the money for it .. this will be my second time cancelling b/c I just dont have the money for it! GEEZ! my RE really wants me to meet w/ her too.. but I feel bad b/c of the money and I REALLY dont have it like that..